How many of you have heard or have you said to others: “You changed my life!”? I have heard that on quite a few occasions and it makes me very, very uncomfortable. Change is one of the principles I love to as one friend says “expatiate” on. How many know what expatiate means? It may mean pompous.(?)
At any rate, experiencing, believing in, and sharing the ultra height of change is one of my passions. However, I DO NOT change anyone. The only one who changes you is you! However, I do teach you about the principles of change and how to go about it.
Many people, when they hear or find someone they really love to listen to, believe in all the things that person says, may tend to isolate that person mentally from anyone else they know. In their minds, that person becomes their personal guru, guide, or mentor, whatever you choose. This can become so much so, without realizing it, the adorer equates that teacher with God.
If something happens to destroy that image, if that person makes a mistake as we humans tend to do, or if that person dies (as we say most of the time), that image is destroyed. The adorer can become shattered. Many times the person can revert back to their “old ways” having lost their confidence or feel abandoned when the idolized teacher falls or disappears from this life.
It is important to realize that perfection lives within appears to be imperfection on the outside. Every one of us is truly a perfect energy being dwelling within our physical bodies.
When some of us coach others in hypnosis techniques, we are teaching methods to allow you to access that inner perfection, that all-knowing wisdom within that knows exactly what is right for you at any given time. More correctly, we coach you on how to return to that perfect inner knowing you were born with. Somewhere between birth and us, you were incorrectly programmed by someone who in their humanness made an error.
We are sharing ideas here; not philosophizing. For whatever reason it is, we all have different paths. We learn different lessons. We have different good and bad experiences based on our choices and how we view them.
I am coming to the title of this dialogue. “ You changed my life!” You changed your life. Somehow someone said, created, or did something that resonated so completely with you, most likely with that wonderful inner, real you and you immediately created change within yourself and/or your environment. When this experience is good and wonderful, give yourself permission to hold onto it. If you should discover that your teacher made a human error, it’s ok. A personal error on the part of your mentor does not cancel out the fact or truth that you came to believe “changed your life.” You did it! It was a gift to you from you. Appreciate it, bless it and treasure it.
Teachers like me are very busy learning from our own errors. That is what really makes us qualified in what we do. We’ve been there. We understand how it feels to have mud on your face, fall in the hole, perhaps lose everything, wallow in self-pity and emerge from the ashes like the Phoenix and begin again.
My intent for all of you is to continue to discover your own wonderful perfection, hold your head high and celebrate who you are.
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Gloria Stanchak Alexander, BA, BCH, MT
Gloria is a member of the International Association of Counselors and Therapists.
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